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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    Smokey the Bear grabbed a box of matches and ran shivering into the woods.

  2. It was so cold...
    my water bed turned into a bergy bit.

  3. It was so cold...
    pedestrians were buying roasted chestnuts - to stuff in their pants!

  4. It was so cold...
    mob corpses were stacking up on New York's East River.

  5. It was so cold...
    fire hydrants were begging the dogs to pee on them.

  6. It was so cold...
    couples were "spooning" in places where they shouldn't have been spooning.

  7. It was so cold...
    pyromaniacs became desirable members of the community.

  8. It was so cold...
    I "bonded" with my heater.

  9. It was so cold...
    P. Diddy changed his name to Frozen P.

  10. It was so cold...
    the fire department in New York's Times Square was called out to rescue a stripper frozen to a pole.

  11. It was so cold...
    people were flicking their Bics - in their pockets.

  12. It was so cold...
    Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall - and survived. (That's an "it was so cold YOLK!" Ha! Ha!)

    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!

  13. It was so cold...
    when I was bringing home treats from the bakery, I froze my buns.

  14. It was so cold...
    instead of the "finger" - people rudely gave you the "mitt".

  15. It was so cold...
    hot dogs were served in down-filled buns.

  16. It was so cold...
    we were shivering more than a mobster in the tax office.

  17. It was so cold...
    the squirrels were storing Sterno.

  18. It was so cold...
    Mom's housekeeping chores changed from "dusting" to "snowing". She replaced her "Pledge" with a "sledge".

  19. It was so cold...
    our goldfish gurgled up a request for an underwater volcano.

  20. It was so cold...
    business executives were ruthlessly competing for warmer offices.

  21. It was so cold...
    I thought I had vitiligo, but it was only frostbitten patches of skin.

  22. It was so cold...
    the bedding manufacturers were getting requests for flammable mattresses - so the smokers could keep warm.

  23. It was so cold...
    our dog moved his blanket from the dog house into the barbeque.

  24. It was so cold...
    healthy people were kissing flu victims - hoping for a fever.

  25. It was so cold...
    commuters longed for the crowds of a Tokyo subway.


It Was So Cold...
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