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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    I needed a hammer and chisel to get at the little pockets of brown sugar down in my porridge.

  2. It was so cold...
    every kind of cereal in the cupboard was frosted - including the boxes!

  3. It was so cold...
    Mom had to switch our little brother over to 5W baby oil.

  4. It was so cold...
    when the cops ordered someone to "freeze", they had to thaw them out later back at the lock-up.

  5. It was so cold...
    the wanted posters down at the police station all looked the same - everyone was wearing a balaclava. (Half the town got arrested, and it was Spring before the innocent ones were finally identified and released.)

  6. It was so cold...
    people getting their passport photos taken wouldn't take their balaclavas off, either. All winter long there was chaos at the airports and border crossings.

  7. It was so cold...
    prisoners wouldn't take off their mitts when they were arrested. Their finger print charts were just big mitten smudges.

  8. It was so cold...
    I had to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.

  9. It was so cold...
    e-mail was almost useless. It's hard to understand a message when it's typed while wearing three pairs of heavy woolen mittens.

  10. It was so cold...
    the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.

  11. It was so cold...
    thanks to those thick scarves wrapped around our heads, we had to learn a new language - mumbling!

  12. It was so cold...
    my nasal passages were so frozen up that when I sneezed - my eyes popped out onto the snow! It took me over two hours to find them - I couldn't see!

    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!

  13. It was so cold...
    the doctor thought I had shotgun wounds - until I told him I'd just been standing in front of Dad when he sneezed and blew the shards of ice off his moustache.

  14. It was so cold...
    the punks with spiked hair were getting arrested for wearing dangerous weapons.

  15. It was so cold...
    helmets were unnecessary. We'd just dunk our heads in water, step outside, and voila - an instant shell of protection!

  16. It was so cold...
    we needed the wallpaper steamer to get undressed.

  17. It was so cold...
    that rather than drive me to school, Mom decided I didn't need an education.

  18. It was so cold...
    when I yelled "hike" to my dog team, they barked back the dog version of "stuff it"!

  19. It was so cold...
    the snow finally covered the house, and guess what? You CAN get into a house down the chimney - if you really have to.

  20. It was so cold...
    Mom threw out her vacuum. She just ran Dad's snow blower over the carpet a couple of times a week.

  21. It was so cold...
    people were waking up the bears and offering them honey popsicles if they'd share their hibernation secrets.

  22. It was so cold...
    arguments became commonplace. The town was quickly filling up with stubborn people - everyone that stepped outside suddenly became "hard-headed". What a bunch of block-heads!

  23. It was so cold...
    hairdressers were getting better results using snow-sculpting techniques.

  24. It was so cold...
    that although Santa had a broad face and a little round belly, it no longer shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

  25. It was so cold...
    my silly putty turned into serious putty.


It Was So Cold...
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