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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    Crazy Fred dipped himself in wax and tried to light his hair on fire.

  2. It was so cold...
    we played checkers with tea candles.

  3. It was so cold...
    I had to carry my lunch to school in my armpits so the bologna wouldn't freeze.

  4. It was so cold...
    Dad switched from big fat Cuban cigars to presto logs.

  5. It was so cold...
    the trap-door in my woolly long-johns froze shut.

  6. It was so cold...
    I thought the cat was getting fatter - turned out it was just wearing two pairs of winter underwear under its fur.

  7. It was so cold...
    Apple introduced the iParka.

  8. It was so cold...
    it was a 300 dog night.

  9. It was so cold...
    reporters were throwing kamiks at former President Bush.

  10. It was so cold...
    when a cab driver insulted a pedestrian, he got frostbite on his middle finger.

  11. It was so cold...
    General Motors was begging the government for a billion barrels of hot soup.

  12. It was so cold...
    we had to start dressing at 8:00 AM to go out to play by noon.

    Links to COLD PLACES!

  13. It was so cold...
    we took the layered clothing concept to a new level - 42 LAYERS!

  14. It was so cold...
    you had to guess when you might have to visit the toilet - if you waited until you had to go, well, you'd never get all those layers of clothing off in time. How embarassing!

  15. It was so cold...
    Boy Scouts tried to keep warm by rubbing their knees together.

  16. It was so cold...
    the whole town went on a "Quest for Fire".

  17. It was so cold...
    Scotsmen were replacing their sporrans with hot water bottles.

  18. It was so cold...
    Dad's heating bill was four times more than the house payment.

  19. It was so cold...
    our pajamas had to be big enough to fit over a snowsuit.

  20. It was so cold...
    the town had a hypothermia epidemic. We were all quarantined indoors.

  21. It was so cold...
    we saved electricity by unplugging our freezer and moving it onto the porch.

  22. It was so cold...
    the City Council traded in the buses for double-decker Zambonis.

  23. It was so cold...
    the trunk of our car doubled as a deep freeze.

  24. It was so cold . . .
    the cops were tasering themselves.

  25. It was so cold...
    Mom had to use a taser to get me started in the morning.

It Was So Cold...
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