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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold . . .
    down at the city morgue, you couldn't tell the stiffs from the guys who worked there!

  2. It was so cold . . .
    we had to put superchargers on the electric blankets!

  3. It was so cold . . .
    if you peed your pants, you'd either have to have them chiseled off or be stuck in them until the spring thaw.

  4. It was so cold . . .
    we had to push the house down the street to jump-start the furnace!

  5. It was so cold...
    when I needed local anesthesia - the dentist told me to stick my head outside!

  6. It was so cold . . .
    Ben and Jerry branched out into the igloo construction business to utilize unsold blocks of ice cream.

  7. It was so cold...
    everyone wanted to make antifreeze - so we hid her woolly pyjamas!

  8. It was so cold...
    the men didn't trim their moustaches and beards - when the hair got too long, they'd just break a little bit off!

  9. It was so cold...
    a kid could die of suffocation - ya can't breathe with frozen boogers!

  10. It was so cold...
    we had to kick a hole in the air just to get outside!

  11. It was so cold...
    the kids at school were using flannel notebooks!

  12. It was so cold...
    my moustache shattered when I laughed!

    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!

  13. It was so cold...
    Boy Scouts were offering to de-ice little old ladies!

  14. It was so cold...
    you needed defrosters - just to have a good cry!

  15. It was so cold...
    forget about the car starting - the block heater wouldn't even start! We needed heaters for the block heaters!

  16. It was so cold...
    I had to sleep with a block heater strapped to my head so Mom could get me moving in the morning!

  17. It was so cold . . .
    a flasher rushed up to poor Mrs. Flannigan - and described himself!

  18. It was so cold...
    we couldn't go outside, so we played with our ball and bat in the living room. We invented "vaseball"! Now we're in the dugout.

  19. It was so cold...
    the kids had to stay inside all weekend. Parents are now organizing a "teacher appreciation day".

  20. It was so cold...
    a comedian was rushed to the hospital after being pelted with frozen tomatoes!

  21. It was so cold...
    kids' grades seemed to be improving at school - when you apply the wind chill factor, a 57% looks like 93%!

  22. It was so cold...
    the barbershop was doing a booming business in thermal hairpieces!

  23. It was so cold...
    we had to wear so many layers of clothing that if you fell down, you just had to stay there until somebody found you and rolled you home!

  24. It was so cold...
    that desperate attempts to warm up resulted in several cases of deep-fried fingers!

  25. It was so cold...
    a man stumbled into the coffee shop and yelled "Perk me!"

It Was So Cold...
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