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It Was So Cold...
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Chilly Weather Reports

  1. It was so cold...
    we had lunch down at the "Greasy Spoon" - just for the heartburn!

  2. It was so cold...
    our aquarium didn't need any glass. The downside? The fish were motionless!

  3. It was so cold...
    the computer store was selling giant keyboards so people could type with mittens!

  4. It was so cold...
    worms were sticking out of the ground like sticks!

  5. It was so cold...
    all the kids were picking up extra money pushing people's cars to work!

  6. It was so cold...
    our table settings included knife, fork, shovel, saw...

  7. It was so cold...
    firemen couldn't get to burning buildings because of the crowds of people just wanting to "hang out" somewhere warm!

  8. It was so cold...
    Dad had a new excuse for drinking vodka. "But dear, it's the only thing that's still liquid!"

  9. It was so cold...
    kissing someone with braces was likely to involve surgical procedures!

  10. It was so cold...
    we understood why rubbing noses was the safest way to show affection.

  11. It was so cold...
    disco dancing became popular again. It wasn't the music - it was the warm lights!

  12. It was so cold...
    eating ice cream was knocked down to number 8 on the list of the top 10 ways to get a brain-freeze!

    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!
    Play the Game!

  13. It was so cold...
    everybody had a stiff upper lip! Say wot!

  14. It was so cold...
    blanket suffocation became the number one cause of fatalities!

  15. It was so cold...
    Santa's Christmas trip was almost canceled - his reindeer joined the Murres and flew south!

  16. It was so cold...
    we didn't need roller wheels to move the furniture! In fact, if you didn't sit on the couch gently, you could find yourself sledding down the hallway!

  17. It was so cold...
    when Dad tried to sneak upstairs to bed, the crunching sound under his feet would wake us up!

  18. It was so cold...
    Polar Bears were breaking into Churchill's restaurants and demanding hot chocolate!

  19. It was so cold...
    Mother Nature moved out and went south! She's no longer on speaking terms with Father Winter.

  20. It was so cold...
    hockey games added a new penalty. When players stopped moving when they had the puck, it was called "De-icing".

  21. It was so cold...
    "Blockbuster" stopped renting videos. Now it's a shop that thaws food!

  22. It was so cold...
    washroom attendants were putting salt boxes beside the toilets!

  23. It was so cold...
    we had to put our skates on to go to the bathroom at night!

  24. It was so cold...
    the orchestra concert was canceled at school. The nurse spent the entire afternoon - steamer in hand - removing instruments from the lips of the brass section!

  25. It was so cold...
    work came to a grinding halt when we found out our funds were frozen.

Our thanks to Garry Gierman for sending many of the jokes on this page.

It Was So Cold...
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